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Bullet #6 is a drug-addicted drug dog, who works for Paradise Police Department, who is responsible for sniffing out drugs and keeping them stored in the evidence locker. He uses his power to get free access to weed, coke, and meth of all kinds. He is voiced by Kyle Kinane.

Biography

In "Welcome to Paradise", Bullet snagged some argyle meth for a drug party with his dog friends. At the party, Bullet busted open the confiscated drug safe and everybody went to town. Bullet brought out the meth, but everyone else swiped all of it before he could get even one bit. Fortunately, this argyle meth was actually poisonous to dogs, as it contained chocolate, so while the others died on the spot, Bullet managed to stay high and dry. The guilt of being responsible for the deaths of his friends was so much for Bullet to handle, that he actually quit drugs, cold turkey. This caused him to go completely crazy. He also made sure he passed off the collective deaths of his friends as a suicide pact so that he wouldn't get in trouble. Bullet had a dream, where he went to Dog Heaven and met his dead friends. His friend Buster, told him that they were happy to be dead because now that they're in Dog Heaven, they get to do all the drugs they want. When Bullet woke up, he was finally happy and went back to doing drugs again.

In "Ass on the Line", Bullet was sentenced to A.A.A. (All Addiction Anonymous) to get over his drug addiction. Bullet said that he was so deprived of joy, during his previous dry spell, having even watched Ballers for entertainment, that he needed to go all out when he was getting back in the saddle so he did a mixture of crack, bath salts, and thirteen liquefied Slim Jims, in a drug mixture called "The Hillbilly Highball". After swearing off drugs for the second time, Bullet earned a 30 minutes sobriety chip. Bullet told Kevin that he was offended by his dog suit as it was his culture's equivalent of blackface. Fitz pointed out the hypocrisy of this statement, reminding Bullet that he went in blackface last Halloween but Bullet said that because he was 1/23rd pitbull, that means he's technically partly a "black dog". Kevin and Bullet were assigned to go undercover at an illegal Dog Fighting Arena, as Randall suspected that Frank Flipperfist was dealing argyle meth over there. Bullet went in disguise as a fighting dog named "Bullet the Badass" and got reeled into fighting a bunch of other dogs, which he ended up being surprisingly good at. Kevin found out later that the only reason Bullet was winning was because his fights were being rigged in his name and he was about to be pitted against a pitwolf who was staged to beat him and tear him to shreds. Kevin tried to warn Bullet but Bullet just assumed he was jealous of his fame and ignored him. When Bullet was in the arena with the pitwolf, he knew he was screwed. Just then, Kevin came in wearing his dog costume to save him and got himself attacked by the pitwolf, allowing for Bullet to escape. After Bullet escaped, he saw his A.A.A. Sponsor selling drugs. Bullet ordered a hillbilly highball, which heightened his powers and had him go back and attack the pitwolf to save Kevin.

In "Black & Blue", Bullet was locked out of the evidence locker due to Randall changing the locks after he got so high last time that he fucked a bowling ball. Bullet was ordered to take Hopson to the Heaven's Lobby Nursing Home. There, Bullet noticed that the seniors there were taking medicinal drugs such as Vicodin, Percocet, and OxyContin and decided to stay a while. He walked into the room of an old lady with dementia, who thought he was her childhood pet dog, Fifi. Bullet played along with this so that he could pop some pills. After being high for a while, Bullet started looking for Hopson but he was nowhere to be found. Bullet went down into the basement, which housed an evil laboratory. In this laboratory, there were several capsules of slime which contained old people in them, including Hopson. Bullet was horrified to hear how old people were being abused here. Dr. Johann came in and told Bullet his whole evil plan but bribed him into keeping his mouth shut by giving him coupons to Red Lobster. Bullet agreed to omit Dr. Johann's evil plans as long as he could also take Hopson.

Appearance

Bullet is a light brown German Shepherd with darker brown spots, a black nose, and messy, scruffy fur. Bullet has stubby white teeth that somehow become a full row of teeth when he's smiling with his teeth clenched. Bullet's only clothing is a blue collar with a golden tag.

Personality

Bullet is a drug obsessed, alcoholic, sex maniac, who is primarily focused on doing drugs. He loves snorting cocaine, smoking weed, and taking large doses of medicinal pills of all kinds, although his favorite drug of all is cocaine. He is supposed to be a drug dog, but he spends more time doing drugs than doing his job. He is also a very crude, loud, and rambunctious party animal, who loves to party his ass off, while he gets high on cocaine.

Relationships

Co-Workers

  • Kevin Crawford - Bullet and Kevin don't always get along as they don't hold each other in very high regard but in the end, they do care for each other and look out for each other, since they're fellow teammates. In "Welcome to Paradise", Kevin thought it was a bad idea to trust Bullet with drugs, seeing him as woefully irresponsible. In "Ass on the Line", Bullet got mad at Kevin for dressing like a dog, claiming it was offensive to his people. Later in the episode, Kevin knew that Bullet's life was in danger and tried to save him by convincing him to quit dog fighting but Bullet just thought he was jealous of him and ignored his warnings. At the end of the episode, Kevin saved Bullet's life and Bullet thanked him by viciously tearing him to shreds, under the influence of a hillbilly highball. After mutilating Kevin, Bullet felt a little shitty and rightfully came to his hospital bed to apologize. Kevin forgave him because he knew his heart was in the right place. In "Who Ate Wally's Waffles?", Bullet was extremely upset with Kevin for refusing to shit at work, claiming that he was dishonoring the team.
  • Randall Crawford - Randall does not trust Bullet with important work due to his drug addiction but Bullet keeps testing him anyway. In "Black & Blue", Randall wisely changed the locks to the evidence locker so Bullet could quit going in and doing drugs but Bullet still asked him for some coke for the road. Bullet is very needy and places a lot of tall orders with Randall. In "Karla", Bullet asked Randall for a Woofmaster 3000, which cost a lot of money.
  • Gina Jabowski - There's a bit of bad blood going on between Bullet and Gina. However, the two really do seem to care about each other and have a lot of respect for each other. In "Christmas in Paradise", Bullet and Gina got into a huge fight with each other. Bullet said he was gunna tell Dusty there was no Santa and Gina threatened to crush him if he ruined her love interest's Christmas spirit. Gina canceled the midget dwarf gang bang in favor of the Christmas pageant, which really pissed off Bullet because he was gunna be in it. A conversation between the two revealed that Bullet hates Christmas so much because he was taken away from his family and given to someone as a present on Christmas. Gina felt bad for Bullet and thought it was only fair to make things better for him, so she gave him some pure uncut cocaine from a Peruvian jungle to make things better. Also, Bullet considered Gina a monster, when he found out she was gunna make Dusty kiss her vagina. In "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note", Gina arrested Bullet for walking a naked Hopson around the dog park.
  • Dusty Marlow - In "Karla", Bullet and Dusty worked together to sell chicken laced with heroin. In this episode, it was revealed that Bullet actually had a great deal of respect for Dusty, saying that he admires his courage and his ability to be so happy all the time. When Dusty caused Bullet to get his testicles horrifically mutilated, he wasn't even mad. To make up for mutilating Bullet's balls, Dusty bought him a Woofmaster 3000, which Bullet was really happy about.
  • Gerald Fitzgerald - Bullet and Fitz are have a very strong and damn near inseperable frenemyship. In "Meet the Jabowskis", Fitz and Bullet blew off work together. Fitz was hesitant at first but Bullet convinced him to cut work with him by calling him a "pussy". While they were taking a skip day, Bullet and Fitz found an unmarked briefcase full of one million dollars and they both decided to split it amongst themselves but being responsible cops, they waited 24 hours before they could legally cash it in. While they waited, Bullet suspected Fitz would run off with the money and Fitz suspected the same of Bullet. Before long, the two were fighting each other to the death over the money, beating each other senseless and destroying the whole room. Bullet managed to clobber Fitz with a TV and knock him out cold and so he ran off with the money but not before pickpocketing him just to take a little more cash from him.
  • Stanley Hopson - In "Black & Blue", Bullet took Hopson to the retirement home and clearly didn't give a shit about his well-being, telling him to have a nice time in Hell. However, at the end of the episode, he must have changed his ways because he saved his life from a laboratory where he was being experimented and tested on. In "Parent Trap", Bullet and Hopson went turkey hunting drunk together and shot and killed an innocent man in a turkey costume and then served him to homeless people. In "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note", Bullet got ownership of Hopson and treated him like a dog. During this time, Bullet's house caught on fire while he was blackout drunk and Hopson saved him life by dragging him to safety. After this, Bullet became forever grateful to Hopson and became friends with him. He played with Hopson like a dog and even got him entered in a dog competition, which they got kicked out of for public indecency. Still, this didn't stop Bullet from loving Hopson to pieces.

Romances

  • Miss Whiskers - Bullet has a colorful past with a cat named Miss Whiskers. In "Police Academy", Bullet admitted to having sex with a cat and worried about getting feline AIDs. Miss Whiskers was very clingy and showed up at the window and beckoned Bullet to call her. Later, Miss Whiskers announced that she was pregnant and so Bullet trapped her in a bag and threw her off a bridge in an attempt to kill her. He failed to kill her but it's most likely he still succeeded in murdering the unborn baby. In "Big Ball Energy", Bullet called up Miss Whiskers again so he could feed her brain to Mr. Meowgi. Miss Whiskers saw this as a booty call and gladly accepted a "three way" with Bullet and Mr. Mewogi.
  • Chassidy - In "Dungeons & Dragnet", Bullet fell in love with a church girl named Chassidy and started hitting on her. Despite being a devout Atheist with no respect for religion, Bullet lied about being a Christian to get into Chassidy's pants. Bullet ran into come trouble when Chassidy's religion forbade her from doing sexual acts with him so he continued to pull the wool over her eyes by editing The Bible and episodes of The 700 Club to make her think Christianity allowed for sexual acts. However, he lost her to another man when he hired a guy to pretend to be Jesus and tell her to have sex with him. The guy went off script and lured Chassidy into his own grasp so he could have sex with her.
  • Bowling Ball - In "Black & Blue", Bullet got high and fucked a bowling ball three times. Once in each of the the three finger holes, having mistaken it for a black woman. He was so proud of himself for doing this that he came into work the next day to announce it to his co-workers and show them his semen-seaping bowling ball as proof.
  • Karen Crawford - In "How the Cookie Crumbles", Bullet revealed that one night, while Karen was drunk, she put peanut butter on her vagina and had Bullet lick it off. It was also suggested later that he had sex with her, potentially impregnating her.
  • Dolphin Queen - In "Fallout", Bullet got drunk on Fuck It 'N' Forget It and had sex with the Dolphin Queen, while she was married to Gerald Fitzgerald. He completely forgot all about it until three months later, when the Dolphin Queen gave birth to their half-dog half-dolphin baby. Bullet felt so embarrassed about what he did and didn't tell Fitz the truth, making him believe that Junior was his own child, with fear that Fitz would kick his ass. However, in "PARAD-ISIS", it was revealed that Fitz knew the whole time and just didn't care.
  • Mrs. Fucker - In the same vein as with Dolphin Queen, Bullet got drunk on Fuck It 'N' Forget It and had sex with a horse in "Fallout", again, while she was married to Horse Fucker. Three months later, this horse gave birth to their half-dog, half-horse child.

Other

  • Junior Fitzgerald - Bullet is the true father of Junior, being the drunk who impregnating the Dolphin Queen with him. Bullet is more or less absent from his life as Gerald Fitzgerald thinks he's the father and Bullet doesn't wanna tell him that, with fear he'll get his ass kicked. In "PARAD-ISIS", Junior was able to tell that Bullet was his father right away and when Bullet was left alone with him, he actually acted like a really good father to him. He showed him the movie Ernest Goes to Africa and taught him not to scratch up Fitz's furniture. He also worried about Junior, when he was kidnapped by the mutants and went to the Mutant Ghetto to save him. It would eventually be revealed that Fitz knew Bullet was the true father of Junior the whole time and he just didn't care. In Fitz's opinion, Bullet was Junior's "baby daddy".

Trivia

  • In "Ass on the Line", he said that he's one twenty-third pitbull and claims that this makes him black since pitbulls are "black dogs".
  • In the same episode, it was revealed that he was a fan of professional wrestling and his heroes included Macho Man, Owen Hart, and Dwayne Johnson.
  • In "Dungeons and Dragnet", it was revealed that he was an Atheist.
  • In "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", Randall reveals that Bullet is actually the 6th Paradise Police Department dog to have been given the name, the others having previously been put down by Randall, much to Bullet the VI's surprise as he was unaware of this fact.
  • There have been three instances of his love interests being killed. In "Task Force", he threw his pregnant girlfriend, Miss Whiskers off a bridge. Later on in that same episode, he had a Russian mail-order bride who was mauled and eaten by a mutated panda bear. In "Christmas in Paradise", his pregnant girlfriend was crushed to death by Dusty in the Woofmaster 3000.
  • He is the PD counterpart of Malloy from Brickleberry.
    • While the only similarity between the two is that they have two L's in the middle of their names, Bullet is a police dog while Malloy is a therapeutic bear. While Malloy is usually sadistic, Bullet is shown to be a little more compassionate than Malloy, especially when he felt devastated for accidentally killing his canine friends with Argyle Meth (due to containing chocolate). He even genuinely apologized to Kevin for accidentally attacking him while trying to save his life in one episode.

Gallery

See: Bullet/Gallery

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