Fallout

Fallout
Season 3, Episode 1, Overall 19
Written by Roger Black & Waco O'Guin
Directed by Ashley J. Long & Mike Disa
First Aired: March 12, 2021
List of Episodes
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Fallout is the first episode of Season 3 of Paradise PD. It is the nineteenth episode, overall.

Synopsis

After hiding in the sewers for three months, the citizens of Paradise emerge to find their beloved town in shambles. In their new world, Kevin makes it his plan to finally get a move on Gina, Fitz realizes he's married to a dolphin, and Robby and Delbert claim an island of mutants as their own country, called Twatemala.

Plot

Three months after the bombing of Paradise, the cops of Paradise P.D. and Karen escape from the sewers, where they'd been hiding out the whole time. While down there, the cops had nothing to eat due to Dusty being locked in the bomb shelter with their entire food supply, that would have lasted them 25 years. Because of their lack of food, they had to resort to eating rats and Hobo Cop's beard ticks. Fitz looks around in horror at the wreckage of the town and apologizes for what he did. Kevin lets him know that it wasn't his fault but Randall says that it is. Dusty comes out of the bomb shelter, having gone through all the food in a day. For the rest of the time, he had starved himself into a big blob of flab that gets blown off in the wind.

At the now destroyed police department, Dusty returns from having eaten all the pizza within minutes, which fattens him up to his normal size again. Dusty says that the time he spent without his food was horrible and to prevent that from ever happening again, he'll always wear his emergency preparedness fridge, which reminds Hopson of the time he had William "The Fridge" Perry give him anal. Kevin goes up to Gina and tells her that almost dying has given him an epiphany. He realizes now that if he loves someone, he should go for it but before he can ask her out, Gina says that she's taken that very advice to heart and will be doubling down on her courting of Dusty, assuming she'll get him to like her, pretty much closing Kevin out of any potential relationship with her. Hopson remembers how back in the sewer, he made his own beer that was just a repurposed jug of drain cleaner, which Bullet got drunk on a few times, causing him to put his dick in some really regrettable things. Fitz comes in to alert everyone that he just woke up with a dolphin as his wife and Bullet, finding this hilarious, lets Fitz know that he married her, while he was The Kingpin and he laughs in his face, with all due respect. Randall comes in and announces that due to being trapped in the sewers without his hemorrhoid cream, he's now developed a rancid ass polyp. Randall also complains that all of Paradise has been turned into a complete dumpster, filled with nuclear radiation, although most of it has settled around Lake Paradise.

The EPA cleans Lake Paradise, where Robby and Delbert sit around in a fishing boat, completely ignoring safety guidelines. There, they land on an island, which they turn into their own country, called Twatemala, which Robby crowns himself as the king of. There, they find a mutated alligator, which Robby befriends and names William.

Randall goes to the Paradise Hospital to get his ass polyp looked at. Dr. Funtlichter asks if Randall has been doing anything weird with his ass and Randall denies this despite a cutaway proving that he shook his ass at the nuclear explosion, causing the mutation. Dr. Funtlichter goes to the scalpel to cut off the polyp but Randall's ass polyp comes to life starts talking to him and immediately becomes Randall's friend. Randall decides he can't kill his polyp and leaves the hospital with him.

Randall and his polyp go to the bar, where they sing a duet at karaoke night, which Joe Biden profoundly enjoys, as he smokes a cigarette at his table.

Fitz goes to his apartment to tell the Dolphin Queen that he's going to have to dump her but before he can break the news, she announces that she's pregnant. Fitz exclaims a big "NOOOOO!" at this news but also tells the audience that in all seriousness, you should never impregnate an animal, which serves as his first Fitz Bit since his recovery.

At home, Randall's polyp grows so big that it starts to control his body and make eggs for breakfast before Randall even wakes up. Randall expresses his disapproval his polyp controlling his body. Karen comes in and reminds Randall that he agreed to take her to see Hamilton. Randall kicks himself for making this promise as the only reason he said that was because he was certain they were going to die. Randall hates Hamilton because it has history lessons, rap music, Puerto Ricans dressed as vampires, and all the things he hates. Randall's polyp tells him that he can help get him out of this mess. All he needs to do is let him control his body for the Hamilton performance, while he takes ambien so he can sleep through the whole thing. Randall loves his polyp to pieces for thinking of this idea and tries to kiss his own ass as thanks. Karen sees Randall trying to kiss his own ass polyp and thinks it's extremely weird.

On Twatemala, Robby trains William to do a bunch of tricks, including biting Delbert's hand off.

At the Hamilton performance, Randall's polyp takes over for him and does a very convincing job, actually behaving like a nicer and more considerate husband to Karen than Randall was, which makes Karen think she really likes this side of Randall. Dusty comes into the theater to watch the show too but he wields with him his refrigerator, which does nothing but cause problems for everybody around him. As soon as the play starts, the lead actor trips over the cord of the fridge, which Dusty had plugged in backstage, trailing all the way back to the audience, and dies. The only way for the show to go on is if somebody fills in for the lead actor, which Randall's polyp does. He dances and raps around on stage, with his own rendition of the opening song, which the audience applauds.

When Randall awakens, he finds his polyp going down on Karen. Angered, Randall drags his polyp to the bathroom, where he condemns him for blowing his wife, knowing that now, she'll expect him to do it. Randall's polyp refuses to stop and seizes control of Randall's body, mad at him for all the abuse he put him through with cheap scratchy toilet paper and tells him that from here on, he'll be the new Randall. The polyp gags Randall with extra scratchy toilet paper and goes back into the bedroom, where he lets Karen peg him, leading to Randall getting a mouthful of extra long dildo.

Delbert laments Robby with a song about how he's the king and Robby summons William to attack him because of how bad the song is, despite the fact that he wrote it. Robby rewards William with a ton of hot dogs but then runs out. Robby fishes around his pocket for another hot dog and grabs his dick. He tries to yank it out but ends up jerking himself off.

The next day at work, the polyp comes in with Karen, after playing with her, the tennis game of her life. Fitz asks Randall for some time off to get his family life together and the polyp obliges, which throws Fitz off, as Randall is usually never this nice. Hobo Cop is the only person who notices that Randall has been taken over by his talking polyp but everybody, despite hearing him say this, go on to completely ignore him. Kevin comes in and the polyp tells him that he'll be helping him with his girl troubles, which also comes as a surprise to Kevin as this is the first time his dad has ever really done something so nice for him. Delbert announces outside of the police department, the arrival of Robby, who declares war on Paradise, demanding they give him their entire supply of hot dogs. Dusty has all the hot dogs but refuses to give them up so he open fire on them and scares them away, officially winning the short-lived war.

The Dolphin Queen takes Fitz underwater with her to introduce him to her parents. Fitz tries to offer them some wine but of course, this doesn't work well underwater. The Dolphin Queen's parents clearly try to break up the couple by inviting their daughter's ex-boyfriend, Brad, who speaks English, unlike the other dolphins and is, in fact, quadrilingual and studied at Chico State. Fitz and the Dolphin Queen refuse to let Brad break them up and they swim off together.

Delbert swims up on the shore of Twatemala after being abandoned back at Paradise and Robby tells him to use a pencil as a weapon to fight the war on Paradise and get the hot dogs. Delter goes to war with Dusty, Braveheart style and in character as Mel Gibson, Dusty makes some anti-semitic comments. Meanwhile, Kevin plays catch with the polyp and they bond like a real father and son. Kevin tells the polyp about his girl troubles and worries that he'll never be able to get Gina to like him if Dusty is in the picture. The polyp suggests killing him but Kevin denounces this. Hobo Cop comes up again to tell Kevin that his dad is actually just a polyp but he's once again, ignored.

Back at Fitz's apartment, he and the dolphin queen prepare for their upcoming affront to God by turning the kid's crib into a fish tank. At a Lamaze class, Fitz finds out that he's not the only one with an interspecies romance, as everyone else in the class is a human/animal couple of some sort. The Dolphin Queen goes into labor and a fellow horse fucker has Fitz and the Dolphin Queen ride his wife to the hospital.

At the hospital, Bullet comes in to mock Fitz even more for his dolphin wife by face timing it to Joe Biden. When the baby is finally born, it turns out to be a hybrid of The Dolphin Queen and Bullet. Bullet has a horrifying flashback to when he was back in the sewer, after getting drunk on Fuck It and Forget It and fucking the Dolphin Queen. Fitz doesn't notice that the baby is clearly Bullet's and just adores the baby, so Bullet doesn't need to explain himself.

Delbert comes back with turkey dogs that he worked his ass off to get but Robby doesn't appreciate the work he did. Delbert gets mad at his king's rudeness and they get into a fight. Eventually, Robby's hat falls off and lands on William, making him the new king of Twatemala.

Kevin pees in the urinal back at the police station to find Gina in disguise as a urinal, waiting for Dusty to pee on her but he doesn't seem to be present. Kevin finds it odd that Dusty would be absent, especially on the station's "Fritter Friday". Karen comes up and says that she's missing Randall as well. Kevin calls his dad and the polyp man answers, saying that Dusty has agreed to leave town forever but accidentally flips the camera over to reveal that he had Dusty tied up in his apartment. Kevin and Karen are shocked and confused as to why Randall would kidnap and try to kill Dusty like that. Hobo Cop screams at them that this isn't Randall but a polyp and he's once again ignored.

Kevin and Karen go to Dusty's apartment, where they see the polyp man about to torture Dusty with a knife. The polyp man says that he's just working on making a Dexter musical with Dusty, which Kevin and Karen both buy before the real Randall rips his head through his pants and screams to them the truth about his body being taken over by an evil ass polyp. Kevin and Karen freak out upon learning this truth and wonder how nobody could have noticed this before. Hobo Cop comes up once more to call them both assholes. Randall finally gets some control over his own body and starts fighting with his polyp. He slams the polyp's head on the stove and burns him and the polyp fights back by shoving his head in a litter box and smearing shit all over his face and then nearly drowning him in the toilet. Randall fights back and knocks the knife out of his hand, which Kevin grabs, giving him the ability to kill the polyp. The polyp tells Kevin and Karen that although he's not the real Randall, he's been a better father and husband than the real Randall ever was. Randall admits that this is completely true and tells Kevin to just kill him and let the polyp take over. Karen vomits her guts out at the fact that she made out with an ass polyp and even received fellatio from him. The polyp snatches the knife away and says that if they're not gunna kill Randall, he'll do it instead. Just before he can lance Randall, his whole entity is torn clean off Randall's ass by William, who flies in at just the right time and allegedly wins the so-called war Paradise. Robby and Delbert come in to sing a victory song and then hoard a bagful of hot dogs from Dusty's fridge back to Twatemala. With everything done and over with, Dusty spits out his gag and tells the audience that they'll be getting weird this season.

Characters

Major Roles

• Kevin Crawford
• Randall Crawford
• Bullet
• Gina Jabowski
• Dusty Marlow
• Gerald Fitzgerald
• Stanley Hopson
• Karen Crawford
• Robby
• Delbert
• Dolphin Queen
• Polyp Man
• William
• Junior Fitzgerald

Minor Roles

• Hobo Cop
• Fonzie Fish
• Dr. Funtlichter
• Mr. Dolphin
• Mrs. Dolphin
• Brad
• Beard Ticks (Cameo)
• Joe Biden (Cameo)
• Handsy Grebovitz (Cameo)
• Lin-Manuel Miranda (Cameo)
• Horse Fucker (Cameo)
• Anton (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Restaurant-Goers (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Bran Stark (Non-Speaking Cameo)
• Tube Sock (Mentioned)
• Ray the Asian (Mentioned)
• Mel Gibson (Mentioned)

Songs

• Butt Buddies
• Hamilton
• King Robby
• King William

Trivia

• This episode takes place three months after the events of the previous episode.
• Karen grows facial hair.
• Hobo Cop has beard ticks.
• The Bomb Shelter was stocked with enough food to feed the entire town for 25 years, which Dusty went through in a day.
• Randall suffers from a serious ass polyp.
  • This polyp was only worsened, when he shook his ass at the nuclear explosion, while it happened.
• Most of the nuclear radiation from the Nuking of Paradise centered on Lake Paradise.
• Robby and Delbert claim an island in the middle of Lake Paradise as their own land, which they call Twatemala.
• Karen has wanted to try various sexual acts with Randall such as cunnilingus and pegging, both of which he has been opposed to before.
• Karen begins the Rebuild Paradise Initiative; a plan to raise enough money to rebuild their atomically demolished city.
• The Dolphin Queen gives birth to a baby dog/dolphin hybrid, who is the biological son of Bullet. Fitz fails to notice the kid is obviously not his and raises him as his own.

Continuity

• This episode picks up where the previous episode left off, with the town of Paradise having been nuked and turned into a giant pizza. All the while, Dusty was still in his bomb shelter.
• For the first time after returning to his true personality, Fitz comes to understand that he married a dolphin in "Flip the Vote".
• Kevin worries that he got a sock pregnant, after having sex with one in "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note".

Cultural References

• The title is a reference to the eponymous video game.
• Gina says that living in the sewer has made her smell like the inderside of Jeff Garlin's tits.
• Hobo Cop refers to beard ticks as "the snack that bites back". This is a reference to Goldfish and their slogan, "the snack that smiles back".
• Hopson once had William Perry do anal on him.
• Hopson also has a sexual past with Dan Marino.
• A mutated fish acts like Fonzie from "Happy Days".
• Delbert suggests naming the new island "Neverland", after the imaginary land from the age-old story, Peter Pan.
• Joe Biden makes several appearances in this episode, deriving sexual pleasure from watching disgusting shit.
• Randall and Karen watch "Hamilton".
• Bran Stark from "Game of Thrones" makes an appearance to insult the show's series finale, "The Iron Throne".
• When Fitz looks for a method of transportation to get to the hospital, Horse Fucker tells him to ride his horse wife there, by saying "Take my wife, please!" This is a quote on the famous joke punchline from famous 1930's comedian, Henry Youngman.
• The polyp ties up Dusty in duct tape and claims that they're doing a Dexter musical.

Errors

• Bullet suggests that Fitz and Dolphin Queen go to another state where abortion is legal in order to get rid of their unborn child. However, Paradise is a town in Illinois, where abortion has already been legalized, ever since the state passed Roe v. Wade in 1973.

Gallery

See: Fallout/Gallery