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Good Jeans

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Good Jeans
Season 4, Episode 4, Overall 34
Thester Welcomes All to Lovely Corp
Written by Waco O'Guin and Roger Black
Directed by Beth Wollman
First Aired: December 16, 2022
List of Episodes
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The Shartist

Good Jeans is the fourth episode of Season 4 of Paradise PD. It is the 34th episode, overall.

Synopsis[]

Charles Lovely builds the headquarters for Lovely Corp in Paradise, officially rebuilding the town ... again. The company proves to be extremely weird, when it produces clones of all the party dudes, using their stolen DNA from their Lovely Phones. Randall steals some jeans from a morgue and gets hunted down by an Italian mafia.

Plot[]

Karen meets with Thester at Red Lobster and they both await the arrival of business magnate, Charles Lovely, who seems to be running late. Thester apprises Karen that Charles Lovely likes to appear suddenly and give him a mini-heart attack. Karen is intrigued by Charles' mysterious allure and entreats more information about him. Thester goes on to detail that he met Lovely last year at a job fair but feels like he's known him for much longer, since the latter has been appearing in his nightmares, since he was 3. Thester also forewarns Karen that the temperature drops 5 degrees, whenever he enters a room and that Charles likely doesn't eat food and instead feeds off the negative emotions of others, and also if one were to maintain eye contact with him for more than 5 seconds, they'd go insane for a week but not necessarily this week. Karen is reasonably put off by this information but before she can even comment, Charles Lovely appears, sitting in the booth with them and giving Thester his mini-heart attack. Charles Lovely introduces himself by randomly exhibiting extensive knowledge about Karen, including her blood type, birthday, and prophetically, her exact date of death. Karen looks very disturbed and confused by this but Charles Lovely ignores her and gets right down to business, saying he's looking to outsource Lovely Corp to the town of Paradise and construct his new Lovely Corp Headquarters on their land. The place on the map he's looking to build it is already the property, where Robby and Delbert's crackhouse is but Charles Lovely believes he'll be able to get them off their land. Karen agrees to signing the contract without reading any of it and Charles, only ever scribing with a quill and the blood of a virgin, has Thester draw his blood for Charles to sign. This causes the paperwork to turn into a monster and violently abuse Thester until the victim beats it senseless with his briefcase and kills it.

Robby and Delbert stand around in their crackhouse and Robby tells Delbert how off camera, Charles Lovely tried to buy his house and Robby told him to floss his teeth with his skinny peter, not wanting to give up a house with such sentimental value. The crackhouse had been in his family for generations, (2 years). While Dobby plays with William in the foreground, Robby orders a crack rock and a GoGurt for breakfast but Delbert sees that they don't have any left. Robby goes out to buy some crack and when he leaves the crackhouse, he sees a massive room of a building surrounding them, this being the main lobby of the Lovely Corp Headquarters, which was built around their property on account of them refusing to leave their land. Thester comes up and tells Robby to get out of the lobby, since only employees are allowed in there, trapping Robby and Delbert inside the house. This leaves Robby and Delbert no other choice but to get jobs at Lovely Corp.

The Paradise Party Dudes and Karen take a grand tour of the newly constructed Lovely Corp Headquarters, with Thester being their tour guide. Thester tells them that Lovely Corp has hundreds of divisions and produces a wide variety of products, like, most notably, the lovely phone, which he distributed to all of them for free. Dusty is filled with glee to be getting free samples like at CostCo, which he had recently gotten kicked out of for eating an entire tray. Bullet thinks this is kind of an overreaction, until he realizes that "Trey" was actually a person Dusty cannibalized. Fitz accepts the user agreement on his phone, which gets his finger cut. Thester assures him that the phone is just collecting a DNA sample. Hopson brings up how he, too, usually "collects peoples' DNA" in the bathroom at the Elk's Lodge. Karen is disappointed to see that Charles Lovely, himself isn't present but Thester tells her that he is present, just watching them through the eyeholes of a painting of himself on the wall. Thester also assures her that she'll be meeting him more properly at the end of the day, when he has a personal meeting with her and his family. This worries Karen, since the meeting is kind of short notice for her, since it's not really long enough for her to pull together a fake family that she's not embarrassed of. Randall takes offense to that, believing that he's never an embarrassment at social events, not even Mr. Culpepper's Funeral, where he showed up to Karen's father's funeral, dressed like a clown. Bullet is creeped out by the portrait of Charles Lovely following him around the room.

Thester takes everyone to the shipping department of Lovely Corp, where they send out packages to everybody with guarunteed same-day delivery. Dusty gets the idea to trap himself inside of a crate to have it mailed to his own apartment, since he's too lazy to do it, himself. Dusty goes into the crate and eats the packing peanuts.

Next, Thester takes them to the virtual reality department, where AFKAK tries out some Lovely VR. There, a scientist tells him all about the VR headset. AFKAK tries it on but the scientist takes it back off and tells him that he can't use it, since it's unfinished and untested. AFKAK reasons that he's not afraid to experiment since he once stuck his dick in a can of warm ravioli but the scientist just kicks him out of the laboratory entirely.

Lastly, Thester takes them to the cloning facility, where there's a bunch of genetic clones of everyone in giant test tubes. Thester explains how they were able to produce these clones, using the DNA collected by their lovely phones. Since all the clones had just started being created, they were currently all in their fetal forms. Randall admires his adorable little baby clone, especially since it already has his mustache. Hopson sees that his clone is already full grown and takes it out of the test tube to have sex with, so that he can quite literally go and fuck himself.

Robby and Delbert notice AFKAK sadly walking through the lobby and ask what ales him. AFKAK explains how he wanted to use Lovely VR to escape from the shitty reality that is his life but for some reason, they're not allowing it. Robby claims to have stolen one of the VR headsets and makes a deal with AFKAK, saying that if he helps them fill out a resume for working at Lovely Corp, they'll give him the headset. Apparently, Robby and Delbert couldn't figure out how to fill out the form since neither of them know how to spell their own names. AFKAK raises them an alternative and offers to simply buy the headset from them for $300. Robby and Delbert oblige and give AFKAK the headset, which is actually just a snorkel that they're passing off as a headset to lie to him. Being the idiot that he is, AFKAK actually believes that he's in the VR system and goes with it.

Randall goes to Mean Because My Dad Didn't Love Me Clothing to buy some new pants for his dinner with Charles Lovely. However, the tailor refuses to sell him any pants because of how flat and flabby his ass is. The tailor kicks him out of the store, making him cry like a little bitch.

Robby and Delbert go to Thester's Office for their job interview and empty their pockets of all the weird shit they have; pills, half a chili dog, toenails, and a dead gila monster. Thester looks at their shared resume and is impressed to see that they each have a masters from Cal Fullerton. Robby corrects him that they have a master named "Cal Fullerton". They're not referring to the college, they're referring to a male dominatrix with the same name, who comes over to their house and sexually abuses them with S&M stuff. Cal Fullerton likes to stuff Robby's dick with popcorn kernels and heat it up with a blowtorch until he jizzes out popped popcorn that Delbert is supposed to catch in his mouth. For some reason, Robby and Delbert keep on inviting him over. Despite being completely unqualified for the job, Thester hires both of them anyway on account of them being white men.

At the Paradise Morgue, an elderly couple sees the mortician about their dead son. Mort accidentally takes out the corpse of Hopson by mistake, who awakens from his death in S&M clothing after a horrible encounter with Cal Fullerton. Randall fishes through all the corpses, looking for fancy clothes to wear to his dinner date. He finds a nice shirt and belt on the corpse of a man who died of auto erotic asphyxiation and more importantly, he finds some jeans on the body of the elderly couple's dead son. Randall admires how the dead man's ass looks in the jeans and steals them for himself right in front of his grieving parents. The parents are pissed off at first but after seeing Randall put on the pants and how great his ass looks in them, they're wowed by his nice ass and they aren't even mad anymore.

Randall parades himself around town in his butt jeans and shows everyone his thick ass. He also goes up to Mean Because My Dad Didn't Love Me Clothing and burns the place down, supposedly killing the tailor inside and twerking all over him.

Still under the impression that he's in a virtual world, AFKAK starts causing crimes like a maniac and goes to the grocery store to check out 11 items in the express lane, which the cashier doesn't like. He also fondles an old lady's boobs and tongue-kisses a dog, before punting it and running off.

At work, Robby and Delbert are tasked with mailing off packages in the shipping department. Robby spots a package for a 90" TV. Robby removes the label of its delivery address and replaces it with a label for himself. Delbert places the original label on the crate that Dusty is hiding in. Delbert later finds a pneumatic vacuum and Robby sticks his dick in it, which stretches his dick out and sends it up to Thester's office and slaps him in the face with it. Thester marches down there and although seemingly mad at first, turns out to actually be very proud of Robby and Delbert for what they did, claiming that Richard Branson did the same thing at his job. Thester gives them both a huge promotion for their excellence, which is annoying to a female worker, who had been working at the company for 10 years. Thester calls this her own silly fault, since she never stuck her own dick into the tube.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Songs[]

  • Alphabet Song
  • Look at That Ass

Trivia[]

  • Lots of creepy information is detailed about Charles Lovely;
    • He has been appearing in Thester's nightmares ever since he was 3, long before they even met.
    • The temperature always drops about 5 degrees, whenever he enters the room.
    • He never eats human food and instead feeds off the negative emotions of others.
    • If you look at him in the eyes for more than 5 seconds, you'll go insane for a week but not necessarily this week.
  • Karen's blood type is O-.
  • Karen's birthday is April 2nd, 1969 and her future date of death is June 24th, 2042.
    • This would make Karen 53 years old as of 2022, 3 years older than Randall.
  • Thester is a virgin.
  • Charles Lovely had a membership at the YMCA.
  • The crackhouse has been in Robby's family for generations. (2 Years)
  • As of this episode, Mr. Culpepper is deceased, as his funeral was shown in a cutaway gag.
  • AFKAK stuck his dick in a warm can of ravioli last night.
  • Delbert has a venereal disease.
  • Robby and Delbert are constantly tortured by a massive male dominatrix named Cal Fullerton, who comes to their crackhouse and does weird S&M stuff to them.
  • Judging by the statement made buy the female employee, Lovely Corp has been around for at least 10 years.
  • Randall gets boners from;
    • Breakfast cereal mascots (i.e. Count Chocula)
    • Mexican pizza from Taco Bell
    • Dogs dressed as fish
    • Lou Ferrigno in full Hulk makeup
    • Hide and Seek
    • Gingers calling him "stupid"
  • Bullet has a European cousin named "Pierre".
  • Judge Judge appears alive and well in this episode, despite being explicitly killed off in "The Brozone Lair".
    • However, it can be justified that this scene took place in virtual reality, so it wasn't really him.
  • Agent Clappers spent 10 months undercover as a pair of pants to take down Bobby Bubblebutt and his mafia.
  • Gina Jabowski finally returns to the series, now as Charles Lovely's fiancee.

Continuity[]

Cultural References[]

  • Charles Lovely has a membership at the Young Men's Christian Association.
  • The intro to Robby and Delbert's looney adventure resembles the classic Looney Tunes intro.
  • Dusty got banned from CostCo for eating a person.
  • Charles Lovely is a fan of Scooby-Doo gags.
  • Hopson collects people's semen from the Elk's Home.
  • Ron Perlman has a statue in his front yard depicting him impersonating Aphrodite in The Birth of Venus.
  • Ron Perlman has several props and outfits from his past movies in his house;
    • Hannibal Chau's Shoes from Pacific Rim.
    • Right Hand of Doom from Hellboy.
    • Nino's sunglasses from Drive.
    • Corin's Sword from Conan the Barbarian.
  • Dusty impersonates several celebrities and characters when pretending to be a TV:
    • Connie Chung from CNN.
    • Bill Cosby from The Cosby Show.
    • Adolf Hitler from The History Channel.
    • Clay Morrow from Sons of Anarchy.
    • Samara Morgan from The Ring.
  • Randall references to how basketball player, Kyrie Irving is a flat-earther.
  • The song "Working for the Weekend" by Loverboy plays when Robby and Delbert get jobs.
  • Robby and Delbert snort Frosty the Snowman like cocaine.
  • Bobby Bubblebutt mentions Five Families from New York City.

Errors[]

  • AFKAK takes 11 items into the express lane but there's only 7 items shown.

Gallery[]

See: Good Jeans/Gallery

See Also[]

Episodes

Season 1

Welcome to Paradise • Ass on the Line • Black & Blue • Karla • Dungeons & Dragnet • Meet the Jabowskis • Police Academy • Task Force • Parent Trap • Christmas in Paradise

Season 2

Paradise Found • Big Ball Energy • Tucker Carlson is a Huge D**k • Who Ate Wally's Waffles? • The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note • Flip the Vote • Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry • Operation DD

Season 3

Fallout • Top Cops • Ice Ice Babies • Trigger Warnings • Showdown at the O-bese Corral • How the Cookie Crumbles • Blind Drunk • Blimp City • The World According to LARP • Fetal Attraction • What Happens in Twatemala • PARAD-ISIS

Season 4

The Brozone Lair • Diddy's Home • A Star is Porn • Good Jeans • The Shartist • The Butt Cut • Boat! • King of the Norf • Sack to the Future • The Eternal Reckoning

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