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Chief Randall Crawford is the hot-headed, boisterous, and profane police chief of Paradise Police Department, disappointed and mildly abusive father of Kevin Crawford, and husband, turn ex, turn husband again of Karen Crawford. Due to his son shooting him in the testicles a long time ago, Randall's masculinity has been painfully impaired and he now requires testosterone patches just to keep himself from losing his mustache and growing tits. He is voiced by Tom Kenny.

Biography

Childhood

Randall was born to Mavis Crawford and an unknown father in 1971. The identity of Randall's father has never been referenced but it's most likely he was absent for most, if not, the entirety of his son's life. Mavis also drank a lot, while she was pregnant with him, causing him to be born with a vestigial twin in the cleft of his chin. Despite all of this, Randall lived a happy childhood and was an only child for most of his life, with the exception Woody temporarily living with them for a short period of time, (likely two years).

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As mentioned in, "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", Randall lived an only child for most of his life, until one day, Mavis' sister, (Randall's maternal aunt), Anita Johnson started getting really drunk all the time, which made her an unfit mother for her son, Woody. Not wanting Woody to live an abusive childhood, Mavis tricked Anita into going to rehab, while she temporarily took care of Woody, along with Randall. Woody and Randall quickly became the best of friends, during the time they lived together.

Woody officially fought his way into Randall's heart, by beating up his enemy, Dean Hancock, after the latter made an off-color comment about the former's mother.

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One night, Randall took notice of how Woody kept having recurring night terrors, where he'd have flashbacks to living with his abusive mother and helped comfort him by giving him a teddy bear, which strikingly similar to Malloy. Woody loved the teddy bear, which he named "Cubzy Wubzy", as it actually helped him get rid of his night terrors and thanked Randall for giving it to him.

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When Anita got back from rehab, she proved that even when sober, she was still an abusive woman, who was completely unfit for taking care of Woody, so Mavis planned to officially adopt Woody and make him Randall's stepbrother. When Woody announced the upcoming adoption, Randall started to feel jealous that Woody would be sharing his mom and thought of a twisted, sociopathic way of getting rid of Woody. Randall beat himself up until he turned bloody and then blamed it on Woody, tricking his mom into thinking Woody abused Randall. Mavis believed this lie and decided that no matter how abusive Anita was, she did not want to keep Woody in a safer home if it came at the risk of her own son getting abused, so she sent Woody back to live with Anita and ripped Cubzy Wubzy away from him, permanently scarring Woody for life, ruining his childhood that had just gotten better, and destroying his trust for Randall. Randall felt absolutely no guilt or remorse for this and continued to live the rest of his childhood in pure bliss.

Randall's childhood, while much better than Woody's wasn't completely perfect, however. Randall was a boy scout, who was molested by a scoutmaster known as "Denmaster Dan". In "Tucker Carlson is a Huge D**k", Randall said that he was repeatedly molested in the boy scouts when his den master taught him how to start a fire by rubbing two dicks together. In "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", Randall had a sudden traumatic flashback to his childhood, as he shouted "NO, DENMASTER DAN! GET OUT OF MY TENT!", before he quickly repressed that memory away.

Teenage Years

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In "Dungeons & Dragnet", Randall admitted that during his high school years, he was an unpopular, nerdy, dork and a shameless die-hard fan of the tabletop board game, Dungeons & Dragons. When playing the game, Randall went by the persona of "Waldack Whitestaff". During his time as a D&D player, Randall worked his ass off, perfecting a 20-sided-dice roll, that would always give him a 20. He did just this and eventually became a legendary D&D player, who was proudly hailed as the grandmaster wizard among all the other D&D players. However, Randall soon got a rude awakening, when he learned the harsh reality of being a D&D player. Even the greatest D&D players get themselves brutally and mercilessly bullied by everyone in the school from the football team, to the girls' swim team, and the special needs kids.

Early Career

When Randall became an adult, he became a cop, working for Paradise Police Department.

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In 1985, Randall was put on a cause involving a severed ass. He went insane after the case went nowhere and went into shock-therapy for 4 years, as mentioned in "Ass on the Line".

Sometime during the early 90's, Randall chased a bank-robbing family of criminals called The Jabowski Family over the ocean on speedboats and fired at them. Mr. Jabowski picked up his youngest daughter, Gina and used her as a human shield, which led to Randall inadvertently shooting her in the head and putting her into a coma.

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11 years later, Gina would wake up from her coma and continue her life as an adult. As as adult, Gina joined Paradise PD and Randall became her boss. Neither of them knew who the other person was at the time.

For some time following Gina's inauguration to Paradise P.D., Randall's entire force consisted of Gina, Bullet, and Hopson. It is unknown what order they all joined the team. It is, however, known that after all three of them were established members of the force, Randall hired recently retired Navy SEAL Dusty Marlow as their new member.

Marriage & Parenthood

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Randall met Karen while working in association with the Paradise Fire Department. Out of an entire crowd, Randall chose to save her life from a structure fire, that killed her then-boyfriend and/or husband. Since then, Karen and Randall fell in love and started dating, as seen via flashback in "Parent Trap".


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Karen and Randall married at an unknown date but is most likely sometime during the later 80's or early to mid 90's. and had their first and, at the time, only child, Kevin Crawford in the year 1999. According to an exchange of dialogue in "Operation DD", Randall didn't give Kevin a middle name because the name that he proposed (which was never mentioned, specifically) was rejected by the court for being a racial slur. At this time, Randall was a very happy man, who was fully satisfied with his job, wife, and son and for a while, everything was perfect. Well, there were a few bumps in the road. For instance, at the turn of the millennium, Randall partied it up in celebration of Y2K and did absolutely nothing to help his wife, while his baby son was crying and pissing all over her. Instead, Randall had more fun getting wasted and jizzing into an ice tray.


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For the first few years of his childhood, Kevin looked up to his father and aspired to one day become a cop just like him. Randall was equally-enthused about this and 100% supported this idea and wanted to ensure that his son did just that. Randall would occasionally take his son to work and show him how he busted criminals, as a way of teaching him how to be a cop. This clearly imprinted on Kevin, as the latter would go around, beating up and cussing at his toys in the same manner as his father did, which led to them both getting their mouths washed out with soap, by Karen. As said before, life was completely perfect for both Randall and everyone else in the family.

Divorce

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This was all before a horrible accident, that changed Randall's life forever. One day, Randall was having a wonderful day, just having sex with his wife, Karen, as usual, when Kevin walked in on them, having found Randall's gun. Kevin played with the gun, and accidentally fired a bullet, which bolted straight toward Randall and painfully pierced him straight through the testicle. Randall screamed in terror and felt indescribable pain, as he flopped over and landed on the floor, clasping his testicle, which had burst into one bloody mess. Randall screamed at him son, for not having the safety on, prompting Kevin to switch the gun to safety mode. Idiotically, Kevin mistook the trigger for the safety and shot another bullet into Randall's other testicle, permanently destroying his testicles. At this point, Randall completely changed his mind about his son becoming a cop, and swore that he'd never support his dream again.

Since then, Randall's life has been absolutely dreadful. For thirteen years, Randall continued to suffer the outcome of his testicles being destroyed, making his life a living hell. Randall's destroyed testicles, meant that he would no longer get the testosterone, he needed from his genitals in order to be a man. Because of this, he now has to use Testosterone Patches, just to keep his mustache from falling out.

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On top of that, a point came, where Karen divorced him, because the ball-busting incident had really changed his personality, into a hateful, disrespectful jackass, who treated her like shit. Despite Karen making clear that it was because of his new personality, Randall still chose to believe that she left him, because she missed playing with his testicles.

Current Life

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When Kevin reached the age for becoming a cadet at Paradise Police Department, Randall still denied him a job, despite Kevin meeting all the qualifications. At this time, his ex-wife Karen, was the mayor of Paradise, giving her the power to assign people jobs at businesses she wasn't affiliated with. Because of this, in "Welcome to Paradise", Kevin was granted a job at Paradise PD, and Randall wasn't allowed to fire him. Randall was pissed, but also worried that Kevin would shoot him again, so he didn't let him have a gun. Instead, he gave Kevin the unfulfilling job of being a crossing guard. At the time, a dangerous new drug called Argyle Meth was being sold, all throughout Paradise and Randall was so hell-bent on finding and busting the person behind the business, that he assigned everybody to assist him with it, including Kevin.

Thanks to Kevin, it was brought to light that Terry Two-Toes was the kingpin of the argyle meth corporation although Randall refused to give his son credit, claiming he "fell ass-backwards into the clue". Again with Kevin's help, Randall had tracked Terry Two-Toes down to Dinkle's Dentistry, where Terry Two-Toes was holding Karen hostage and planning to blow her and the entire dentistry apart. Randall and the rest of the Paradise P.D. broke into the dentistry and they all worked on fighting off the criminals and taking down Terry. Randall saved Karen from her trap, which made her fall back in love with him again. The two of them agreed to go on a date at Red Lobster and try to get their relationship back on track.

Randall would finally come around to appreciating Kevin for his work and officially recognized him as an official police officer at Paradise P.D. He then prepared for his upcoming date with Karen but then found out that he was out of testosterone patches. Without his testosterone patches, Randall's mustache fell out and he sprouted enormous womanlike titties. Randall knew he definitely couldn't go on his date looking like that, so he stood Karen up, which pissed her off and made her hate him again. Randall instead spent the night at the town strip club, performing under the stage name, Summer Sausage and ended his night, having sex with his own employee, Stanley Hopson.

In "Ass on the Line", Randall got into a fight with rival police station, Diamond City Police over who had the authority to study a dead body that lied on the border of Paradise and Diamond City. Diamond City police chief and Randall's lifelong enemy, Dean Hancock, decided it was best to divide the evidence so that Diamond City would study the victim's upper half, while Paradise PD studied the lower half. This only gave Randall information on the victim's ass, which meant he had little to nothing to go on. Randall stayed up for hours at night, driving himself crazy, overanalyzing the corpse's ass.

Randall's obsession with the victim's ass eventually got so out of hand that Karen had to be called down to take him off the case, whereas to prevent a repeat of his previous ass case in 1985. Eventually, Randall discovered that the victim's ass he had been studying for the past few days was actually just Hancock pretending to be a dead body to "fuck with" him. Hancock explained to Randall that he solved the murder case mere hours after it happened and took the corpse's place while Randall was away.

Randall was so pissed off and depressed about being pranked that he decided to quit his job. However, on his way out of the police station, Randall tripped over an Assless Hobo, who said that back in 1985, she went skydiving out of a helicopter and her ass was chopped off by the propeller. Randall put two and two together and finally solved the severed ass case of '85, which made him jump for joy and decide to continue being a cop after all.

Appearance

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Randall is a tall but overweight Caucasian adult male with a big, butt-shaped chin cleft. He has light orangish brown hair. He has a mustache with balding hair, that's falling off of his head. He wears a blue police uniform just like everyone else on the team, but he also wears a golden badge because he's the police chief. Thirteen years ago before his accident, Randall was noticeably slimmer and appeared to be in great shape, possessed an ordinary chin cleft as well as a full head of thick hair that had not yet started thinning out. In "Blind Drunk", it was revealed that Randall had a vestigial twin in the cleft of his chin, caused by his mother's excessive drinking during her pregnancy.

Personality

Randall is a loud, raging, hateful old man, who is quick to anger. He screams and yells and cusses like a madman, whenever things go wrong and when things go right. Because of his testicles being popped due to Kevin's accidental gunshot, he needs to take extra precautions to keep his masculinity intact, by using tons of testosterone patches, just to keep him from growing a big fat pair of tits. Despite his hateful demeanor, deep down, he truly loves his family, especially his son, Kevin. He also still loves his ex-wife, Karen and wants to have her back, which he eventually got in "Paradise Found", leading to him being a happier man, marriage wise.

Relationships

Family

  • Kevin Crawford - Randall used to 100% support his son's dreams of becoming a cop like him, until the fateful day, when he shot him in the testicles, as seen in "Welcome to Paradise", thereby destroying his respect for his son's ambitions. Since then, Randall wholeheartedly opposed his son ever becoming a cop, believing him to be too unstable and careless to become a firearm-wielding police officer. Randall is very unhappy with Kevin working with him at the police station and never gives him any major or important jobs, not trusting him to do anything important, especially not with a gun. Although Randall rarely ever shows even an ounce of respect for him, he has proven that despite how pissed off he gets at him, Randall still loves Kevin. However, Randall's treatment toward Kevin could still use some improvement, given how some episodes have depicted him as being verbally abusive, most notably in "Operation DD", when one of Kevin's mentally scarring memories was when he and Karen insulted a 5-year-old Kevin and blamed him for their divorce. After he and Karen saw this memory, via brain device he finally saw how big of an asshole he was and decided it was time for him to make a change and become a better parent.
  • Karen Crawford - Randall and Karen are on-again, off-again husband and wife. Before the series, they got married and later divorced, remaining bitter and spiteful exes, insulting each other from near and afar. According to Randall, the reason Karen dumped him was that he lost his testicles, but according to Karen, it was because of the man he became after that, which was, in her words, a "stubborn, sexist, piece of shit, asshole", as quoted in "Welcome to Paradise". (Karen would later admit in "Big Ball Energy" that it actually was because of his testicular removal) One of Randall's biggest insults to Karen, around the time of their divorce, was the notion that she would never become the mayor because she was a woman. Ever since Karen's mayorship, she's been rubbing her success in Randall's face. Despite his oppressive and violent behavior toward her, Randall still loves Karen and is painfully heartbroken over her leaving him. He gets jealous when she's with other guys and will stop at nothing to get her back. In "Parent Trap", after constant pushing from Kevin, Randall and Karen got back together again, as a couple and had tons of hardcore, kinky sex. In "Christmas in Paradise", Randall proposed to Karen and she gladly accepted. In "Paradise Found", Randall and Karen got remarried at Dusty's execution.
  • Mavis Crawford - Mavis was a kind and loving mother to Randall, as a child and he seemed to have a functional and decent enough childhood, as seen via flashback in "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry". It is unknown what happened to Randall's father but he was shown to be absent for most of his childhood. As a single mother, Mavis seemed to hold up just fine and raise her child with ease. At some point in her life, Mavis started dating Dean Hancock and later married him, much to Randall's infuriation. It is unknown exactly when this happened but seeing as how Hancock is roughly the same age as Randall (and was childhood friends with him), it's most likely their relationship started around the same time Randall became a legal adult. Randall and Mavis have only had direct onscreen interactions via flashbacks (the closest to this has been Mavis attenting Randall and Karen's second wedding in "Paradise Found"), so it's unknown how they interact as of currently but Randall has exhibited overprotective behavior over her, (i.e. attempting to strangle him in "Ass on the Line"), meaning he loves and respects her.
  • Woody Johnson - As revealed in "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", Randall and Woody are cousins, who have known each other since early childhood. When they were kids, Woody temporarily lived with Randall while his abusive mother was in rehab. At the time, Randall and Woody's friendship was so strong, they were like brothers and they looked out for each other and made many memories together. One time, Woody was having a nightmare about living with his mom again. Randall, concerned for his well-being gave him a teddy bear to keep him happy and it worked. However, Randall would soon get jealous of how Woody was taking some of his own mother's love from him. One day, Mavis announced that Woody was going to stay with them permanently, (omitting the fact that the reason was due to Anita proving to have not recovered from rehab and to still be an abusive mother) and that she was planning to adopt Woody too. Randall was infuriated over this and came up with the idea to beat himself senseless with a video game system and then blame it on Woody. Randall managed to successfully convince his mom that Woody beat him up, causing Mavis to believe that Woody had adapted some of his mother's abusive behavior and promptly kick him out of the house, sending Woody back to live with his abusive mom for the remainder of his childhood. Ever since that fateful day, Woody has hated Randall with a burning passion, claiming that it was because of him, that his childhood was ruined. In "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", Randall made the mistake of taking Karen and Paradise P.D. to Brickleberry National Park, where he met up with Woody to hide out from Fitz. Randall stupidly thought that Woody would accept him into his community, only to have Woody scream and cuss at him, telling him that he hated him, leading to a physical fight. During this fight, Malloy mysteriously went missing (as he got crushed under Dusty and trapped in his fat rolls). Woody went into a panic and later a deep depression over Malloy's disappearance and Randall found out that it was because it reminded him of the teddy bear he gave him as a kid, which was the only artifact of his happy childhood that was ripped away from him when he was sent back to his mom. After understanding how much Malloy meant to him, Randall went to get him back. When he did, Woody forgave him for everything he did in the past and they became friends again, at long last.

Employees

  • Bullet - Randall admires and respects Bullet as a member of the team. However, he doesn't like how Bullet does drugs from the evidence locker. However, he is swayed by Bullet's somewhat logical argument that as a drug dog, he won't be able to sniff out drugs if he doesn't know what the drugs smell like. In "Welcome to Paradise", Randall stupidly entrusted Bullet with taking a bag of argyle meth to the evidence locker, which of course, ended with Bullet getting high and throwing a rave with all his friends. In "Black & Blue", Randall got fed up with Bullet doing the drugs, so he changed the locks on the evidence locker to keep him out.
  • Gina Jabowski - Gina is admittedly Randall's favorite worker, given her dedication and commitment to her job, as he mentioned in "Meet the Jabowskis". However, in the same episode, Randall made it clear that he does not appreciate her brutality and wants her to tone down her violence and rage. In "Tucker Carlson is a Huge D**k", it was revealed that despite favoring her over the rest of the cops, Randall paid Gina 20% less than her male co-workers because she was a woman, showing his sexism.
  • Dusty Marlow - Randall does not hold Dusty in high regard at all, seeing him as one of the least competent and reliant members of the team. Randall mostly despises Dusty for being a stupid, cowardly, amateurish, fuck off. In "Welcome to Paradise", Randall used Dusty as a human shield and after Dusty got hurt, Randall celebrated that everybody who matters was okay. In "Meet the Jabowskis", Randall knew better than to send Dusty patrolling the city, knowing that he was so much of a pussy, that he was deathly afraid of his own shadow. In "Who Ate Wally's Waffles?", Randall distances Dusty from the title of "valuable manpower".
  • Gerald Fitzgerald - Despite Fitz's wimpiness and aversion to facing dangerous situations head-on, Randall thinks that Fitz was a useful enough cop on the force. In "Black & Blue", Randall was pissed off at Fitz for shooting himself in the leg and slandering the good name of Paradise P.D.. In "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note", Randall discovered that Fitz was actually the kingpin of the houndstooth meth corporation and turned on him and spread the word to everyone else in "Flip the Vote", only for people to ignore his warnings until it was too late. In "Operation DD", Randall's respect for Fitz was restored, when it turned out that his evil persona was just one of his alternate personalities taking over his body.
  • Stanley Hopson - Randall has little to no trust or respect for Hopson, believing him to be too old and senile to be put on any real cases. In "Black & Blue", Randall tried to retire Hopson to Heaven's Lobby Nursing Home and even left him for dead but Hopson attacked Randall with his crab claw and forced him to let him back on the team in the end. In "Police Academy", Randall pranked Hopson by pretending he couldn't see or hear him, to make him think he was dead. In "Task Force", the extent of Randall's elder abuse toward Hopson was explored, when Randall chained Hopson up to a log in the middle of the woods and left him for dead once again, just to get him out of the way, when some magazine interviewers for Senior Living came to the police department. However, it turned out that these magazine interviewers wanted to see how well he treated elderly people. At the end of the episode, Randall strangled Hopson and got his picture posted on the cover of Choking Geezers Monthly.

Friends

  • Hobo Cop - Despite not holding him in the highest of regard, Randall considers Hobo Cop to be a friend, even if he mostly just uses Hobo Cop as a test rat to do dangerous, deadly jobs. In "Welcome to Paradise", Randall had Hobo Cop defuse bombs for him so that nobody important would risk their lives. However, Randall does have a motocomb of respect for him. In "Tucker Carlson is a Huge D**k", Hobo Cop let Randall use his highway to house his Men's Force and Randall thanked him for that.
  • Dr. Funtlichter - Randall is on good terms with his doctor. In "Big Ball Energy", Randall sought surgical help for Dr. Funtlichter to get brand new balls. Dr. Funtlicter was kind enough to give Randall testicular surgery and fill his scrotum with tons of testicles.
  • Preacher Paul - Randall thinks that Preacher Paul is a complete nutjob and doesn't seem to care about him but he does pretend to be his friend because he knows that he gives away reward money to cops who protect and serve his city and he will jump through hoops to entertain any of Preacher Paul's ridiculous requests if he knows he'll be getting money for it. In "Dungeons & Dragnet", Randall went along with Preacher Paul's stupid idea to rid Paradise of all Dungeons & Dragons games.
  • Dobby - In "Flip the Vote", Randall grew a strong connection with Dobby after being trapped in his crackhouse for such a long time. He learned his language and started to treat him like an actual son, who he loved more than Kevin. In "Operation DD", Randall cheered for Dobby, when he sacrificed his life to save Paradise from a nuclear missile attack.

Enemies

  • Dean Hancock - Randall is archenemies with Hancock, as they are rival police officers, with Hancock being the far more successful police chief of the high-hailed Diamond City PD and Randall having to live in his shadow. Hancock is always one-upping Randall and pissing him off. Another major reason why Randall hates Hancock is because Hancock married his single mother and have constant rough sex with her for no reason other than to piss him off.
  • Agent Clappers - Randall passionately resents Agent Clappers not only for being the high-and-mighty FBI agent, who stole his houndstooth meth case from him but also for using his big fat testicles to seduce his wife and try to steal her from him. In "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note", Randall broke into the FBI to steal back his information on the houndstooth meth case, only to find out that Clappers was involved with The Legion of Dooooom, confirming his hatred for him and growing his rivalry with him to be even stronger.
  • Robby and Delbert - Randall recognizes Robby and Delbert and repeat offenders, who he's had to arrest multiple times. In "Meet the Jabowskis", Robby and Delbert broke into the police department, threw a party, and destroyed everything. Randall got pissed off and demanded they leave the premises but they only kicked his ass out of there and locked him out of his own office. Randall tried to get in through Bullet's doggy door only to get stuck. Robby and Delbert shaved his head to give him a mohawk, heavily tattooed his face, and covered him in piercings just to torment him. In "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note", Randall violently tortured Robby and Delbert for information on the houndstooth meth case.
  • Thester Carbomb IV - Randall is an obvious rival of Thester, given that he's a member of The Legion of Dooooom. In "Operation DD", Thester revealed that he was actually a good guy going in disguise but even as an ally, Thester was still a pain in the ass to Randall, driving him mad by playing with his taxidermy nana and singing songs about Pussyland. Randall was so annoyed with this that he punched Thester's dead nana's head right off her corpse, which turned Thester into his enemy for real.

Age

Randall's age and birthday have been a subject of dispute for some time due to lack of clarification and plotholes in the series. His age was specifically mentioned to be 49 in "Top Cops", which took place in 2021. A few episodes later, he celebrated his birthday later that same year in "Showdown at the O-bese Corral", which would make him 50. This would make his birthday sometime in 1971. This is currently the most commonly accepted age.

In the episode "Ass on the Line", Randall said that he worked as a detective in 1985. The minimum age to be a detective in 21, meaning he would have had to be born in 1964 and his age would be at least 55 years old as of 2018, (58 as of 2021). However, this was likely a plot hole.

In "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", a flashback to when Randall and Woody were children, sees Randall playing the game E.T. for Atari, a game that was released in 1982. If Randall was born in 1964, as suggested before, it would be impossible for Randall to be as young as he was in the time this flashback took place as he would have been 18 years old. However, assuming Randall was born in 1971, this would make him 11 during that flashback, which is an age that fits better with his appearance at the time. This, however, means that Randall would have been 14, when working as a detective in 1985, making this a no-win plothole.

All in all, the writers seem to be married to Randall's age being 50 and his birth year being 1971, as most of the evidence in the show supports that claim, making this the most likely age and birthday to be given to Randall Crawford.

Trivia

  • Randall is a flat-earther, as mentioned in "Ass on the Line".
  • Randall used to be a Dungeons & Dragons geek, who cosplayed as Waldack Whitestaff, as revealed in "Dungeons & Dragnet".
  • In "Dungeons & Dragnet", it was revealed that Randall has a honeydew fetish.
  • Without his testosterone patches, Randall loses his mustache hair and grows massive tits. In "Christmas in Paradise", it was revealed that Randall led an occasional double life with his tits, moonlighting as a stripper named "Summer Sausage".
  • Randall was revealed to be 49 in "Top Cops".
  • Randall is a racist, as seen in numerous episodes:
    • In "Black & Blue", Randall says that he often shoots innocent minorities.
    • In the same episode, he makes overtly racist comments about Asian police officer, Blackie Chan.
    • In "Karla", Randall opposed interracial marriage.
    • In the same episode, Kevin didn't want to tell him he was dating Karla 9000 because she was black.
    • In "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", Randall locks his car, when meeting Denzel.
    • In "Top Cops", Randall beat up Kevin because he was Jewish.
    • In "Trigger Warnings", Randall supported some of the white-nationalist ideologies of the NRA.
    • In "Blind Drunk", Randall created the persona of an African-American guy named Black Pepper said the N-word, while playing him.
  • Randall was molested in the boy scouts by a man named "Denmaster Dan", as stated in "Tucker Carlson is a Huge D**k" and "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry".
  • In "Who Ate Wally's Waffles?", it was revealed that Randall has a bladder problem and can only shit once a month. When he does, his months-worth of shit painfully comes out all in one clump and is usually alive and filled with blood.
  • He is the PD counterpart of Woody Johnson of Brickleberry. However, unlike Woody, Randall is more likable, mature, responsible and he treats his subordinates much better and not as greedy as Woody.
  • Randall suffers from an anal polyp as seen in "Fallout". In the same episode, his polyp was mutated into a sentient being and took over his body before being eaten dead by William.
  • Randall wakes up at 8:00 AM.
  • Randall begins every morning by checking Kendall Jenner's Instagram, as seen in "Top Cops".
  • Randall is a card-carrying member of the NRA.
  • In "Showdown at the O-bese Corral", Randall was shown to be very fat, almost as fat as Dusty and just represses his fatness by wearing a corset to make himself look skinny.
  • In "How the Cookie Crumbles", it was revealed that Randall could only perform homosexual acts, while drunk.
    • Randall considers masturbation to be a homosexual act, as technically speaking, it is touching a man's penis, while a man touches your penis and therefore, needs to be drunk while masturbating.
  • In "Blind Drunk", it was revealed that he had a vestigial twin in his chin cleft, that was born on account of his mother drinking while pregnant with him.

Gallery

See: Randall Crawford/Gallery

References

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