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Stanley Hopson is an confused, senile, bisexual old man, who works for Paradise Police Department, where he makes racist comments about black people and gross sexual remarks about what he does in his free time. He is 175 years old and has has endless stories about sexual encounters he's had with famous (mostly male) historical figures all throughout time. He is voiced by Dana Snyder.

Biography

Birth

Stanley Hopson was born to an unknown mother and father in the year 1843. Despite being born such a long time ago, Hopson is still alive today. Little to nothing is known about Hopson's birth and/or childhood since most of his stories only center around his young adult life.

It is implied that Hopson had a very messed up childhood. In "Task Force", Hopson said that he has been a long-time fan of the inappropriate magazine, Choking Geezers Monthly ever since he was a child, making it clear that he's been heavily and repeatedly exposed to not just dirty images but gerontophile S&M offensive pictures throughout his childhood, which probably explains why he's the sick twisted man he is today.

Sex Life

Stanley has many stories of having dirty relationships with several famous people, throughout history. Most of these figures were confirmed to be LGBT, but some of them weren't. Given Stanley's dementia, it's unknown how much of the things he says are actually true, but given the high-concept nature of his life, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that all of it is factual. The stories have been organized to be as chronological as possible.

In "Police Academy", it was suggested that at one point in his life, Hopson posed naked for a man on the Titanic to draw him. It remains unclear, whether this was Leonardo DiCaprio playing "Jack Dawson" in the movie, or if it was Joseph Dawson from the real Titanic.

In "Christmas in Paradise", Hopson said that Nikola Telsa gave him "the shocker".

According to a non-sequitur comment he made in "Welcome to Paradise", Hopson won a 4H beauty pageant in 1941, being voted "prettiest girl in school" and later went on to finger Mickey Rooney. The legitimacy of this comment makes little to no sense. Not only is Hopson a male, but if he went to school in the year 1941, which would mean that he'd be 98 years old at the time.

In "Ass on the Line", Hopson said that he had a three-way with professional boxers, Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey. Hopson gave anal to Louis while receiving anal from Dempsey in a sexual act he called "training".

Sometime either during or shortly before 1957, Hopson worked as a genital fluffer on the set of 12 Angry Men and jerked off the actors for every single one of the titular characters.

In "Police Academy", it was learned that at some point in his life, Hopson had a rare heterosexual fling with a woman named Esmeralda, who was separated from her one day for unknown reasons.

In "Who Ate Wally's Waffles?", Hopson detailed a time Jimmy Carter came into his face.

In "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note", Hopson said that Bob Barker gave him fellatio.

In "Christmas in Paradise", Hopson detailed a more recent sexual exploit, wherein he had sex with Mark Cuban from Shark Tank, though his Mobile Glory Hole.

In "Flip the Vote", Hopson had some present-day sex, when he low-key violated the dead bodies of Dusty, Gina, and Bullet by teabagging their corpses.

As for full-blown sex, in "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", Hopson fell in love with Denzel Jackson and started hitting on him only for him to uncomfortably slink away. Later in the episode, Hopson was able to get his sexual fantasy, by tricking a heavily intoxicated Denzel into thinking he was a supreme being and doing "weird sexual things" to him. This also included Bullet, making this into a threesome.

Current Life

Hopson is currently employed as a police officer for Paradise Police Department. It is unknown when he started but currently, he's too old and mentally unstable to be a police officer anymore. Ever since first showing signs of senility boss, Randall has been scheming to get rid of Hopson but it's not easy since Hopson refuses to admit he's too old for his job and insists on continuing to work at Paradise P.D. The police department can't retire Hopson because they can't afford to funds his pension, as mentioned in "Welcome to Paradise". In "Black & Blue", they must have raised enough money to retire him because they sent him to Heaven's Lobby Nursing Home, only for him to escape and get back to his original job again, in the end.

Appearance

Stanley Hopson is a Caucasian male senior citizen, who is balding, and what's left of his hair is gray and he's very wrinkly. He wears brown square glasses, a light blue police uniform, dark blue pants, and black shoes. Under his police uniform, he wears a white adult diaper.

Personality

Stanley Hopson is a stereotypical old man, who is always rambling about his past. He is a bisexual who leans more towards men than women. He tells stories about making love with famous historical figures, many from an impossibly long time ago, leading one to question how much of it is real. Stanley possibly suffers from Alzheimer's, causing him to mistake everyday objects for other things and for him to wake up one day, believing he's years in the past. Stanley is also racist against black people and he mistreats Fitz like crazy. Stanley is considered one of the weakest links at Paradise P.D., because of his senility and Alzheimer's. However, Stanley still wants to go out there and fight crime like he used to, back in the good old days. Stanley shows no respect for his boss and he treats him horribly. Stanley should be retired but Paradise P.D., can't afford his pension, so he's going to stay around for the rest of his days, annoying the worst out of everyone at the police station and being a stupid old man.

Stanley despite being a police officer, been shown to be a sexual predator and pervert as he has made numerous and unwanted advances towards fellow officers, and in one instance while his fellow officers were briefly dead and trapped in Hell, he used their bodies for oral sex before reviving them. He also had an instance of flashing himself whilst in a playground with children while advertising his "Mobile Glory Hole".

He also possess a sadistic side when he believed he was a ghost and wanted Dusty to fulfill what he perceived as "his reasons for being on Earth", one of them to spank an innocent little kid just for annoying Hopson, for "having fun all the time", also displaying a petty side towards those who are happy, due to his own misery, bolstering his already pathetic nature.

Relationships

Co-Workers

  • Randall Crawford - Hopson is a motivated worker, who wants to serve the chief but he rarely gets the opportunity to do anything because the chief sees him as an incompetent old man, who he has no respect for. Randall often abuses Hopson and even tries to force him into retirement and even kill him. "Black & Blue" exemplified this by having Randall send Hopson "undercover" at a retirement home and told him that if he has any trouble, just give the help there a medical document that says "Do Not Resuscitate" and to just wait there until Jesus comes to pick him up. In "Task Force", Hopson got revenge on Randall when he told the interviewers of Senior Living about how much they abused him, giving Paradise P.D. a bad rep in their magazine. Hopson also has some sexual attraction for the chief, as seen in "Christmas in Paradise", where he proposed to him and even mentioned having paid for sexual favors from him, when he was in his stripper form of "Summer Sausage", which, apparently, Randall agreed to.
  • Gerald Fitzgerald - Hopson is always being racist to Fitz for being black. In "Welcome to Paradise", Hopson had pulled Fitz over three times in one week alone, profiling him as a "suspicious looking colored-fella". In "Police Academy", Hopson was known for pretending to be a slave by means of mocking Fitz's ancestors.
  • Kevin Crawford - Hopson doesn't hold Kevin in high regards, although he has been shown on occasion to be sexually attracted to him. In "Christmas in Paradise", Hopson saw that Kevin was snooping around The Kingpin case and didn't want him to find out about his sexual past with his father. Hopson destroyed Kevin's clues in finding The Kingpin and threatened him at gunpoint to stay out of his business and later, stared him down at the Christmas party. Kevin wasn't going to stand for that so he attacked Hopson and forced him to tell the truth in the public men's bathroom but not before accidentally receiving a blowjob from him. In "Tucker Carlson is a Huge D**k", Hopson shamed Kevin for not shitting at work and assumed it was because he was trying to hide the fact that he had three privates. Later in the episode, he admitted to being aroused by Kevin and Karen singing the Poo Poo Choo Choo song on the Boom Boom Station. In "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note", Hopson snuck into the shower, while Kevin was in there and looked at his privates.
  • Bullet - Bullet and Hopson are friends that get into trouble together. In "Black & Blue", Bullet took Hopson to a retirment home for a "mission" but then after seeing how abusively they treated him in the home, went back to save him. The whole time, Hopson was none the wiser about why he was really sent to the retirement home in the first place. In "Parent Trap", the pair hunted a turkey for Thanksgiving, which turned out to be a human being in costume, who they killed, cooked, and served to homeless people. In "The Father, The Son, and The Post-It Note", Hopson legally became Bullet's pet dog and was very loyal and faithful to him. Hopson played fetch with Bullet, gave Bullet his newspaper to do blow with, and saved Bullet's life after he blacked out in a housefire. Hopson is also guilty of raping and sexually assaulting Bullet on numerous occasions. In "Flip the Vote", Hopson teabagged Bullet's corpse. In "Paradise PD Meets Brickleberry", Hopson tricked a stoned Bullet and Denzel into having an extremely weird three-way with him.

Trivia

  • Although Hopson is mostly shown to be attracted to men, he has on occasion exhibited sexual attractions to women and has been in a small number of relationships with women, meaning that Hopson is a homoflexible bisexual.
  • Paradise PD's official Twitter account stated that Stanley is 175 years old, in a post made in 2018, meaning he must have been born in 1843.
  • When Hopson died in "Police Academy", he went to Heaven. However, when he died in "Flip the Vote", he went to Hell.
  • He is the only main cast member who doesn't have a Brickleberry counterpart.

Gallery

See: Stanley Hopson/Gallery

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